I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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