Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
