I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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