The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
