Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
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I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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