i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
do herpes really smell.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.