Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
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this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
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Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a