singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
