i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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