Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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