Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
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