So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
