he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
