just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
