He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
