Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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