but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize