yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
