So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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