Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize