Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out