Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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