I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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