I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
