I'm jealous of your bromance
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
