the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
