we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
