We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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