doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
where am i from again
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
