He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
