I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
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In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
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151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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