sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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