You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Randomize
