how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
