There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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