Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
