That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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