this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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