If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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