I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
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