Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
