so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize