Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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