just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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