hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I supernannyed him into submission
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
