Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
