A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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