I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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