Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
My dad is sitting where you rode me
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
