Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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