I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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