he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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