Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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