he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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