just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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