you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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