Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
