Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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