You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm both gender and math confused
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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