I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
