i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
