How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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