so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
