3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
