actually, I'm a sock model
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
