we have officially lost it.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
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A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
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The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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